Back to work 2009

6am. 1/5 Monday morning. First work day of 2009. I am trying to drum up enthusiasm, or at least, put on the social armor and gather enough energy to go through the day. Boy, this is as bad as going back to school.

Thought this is really cute,

From threadless.com

Repeat to self. A year of results. Go get 'em!

2008 Year End Review and 2009 New Year Resolution

My 2008 is one of the more dismal year to date. I didn't accomplish my 2008 resolution (eliminate clutter in the house). I stopped running, rarely blogged, and everyday I feel a vague sense of stress,malcontent, and low energy level. My 401k funds got a 40% haircut, I lost some hard earned $$$ when FDIC took over Indymac (July 2008), and I still couldn't afford that dream house of mine. I found out mid year that I have anovulatory cycles, hence the childless state. Truthfully, I am ambivalent about having a child. However, Warren wants one. So I am trying, for him. So far, we are unsuccessful (even with Clomid). It is a very strange feeling to work towards a goal that I don't particularly care for and not have much control over the result. Tiresome.

I hope 2009 will be a year of results. I will be going through three more Clomid cycles with IUI most likely. Although its success rate is low, for certain I do not want to go through IVF. I will continue to look for that affordable dream house. I am really looking forward to the photography class starting in two weeks. I have a few To-Do tasks that I really need to get done. I am the queen of procrastination (grimace). So, no big revelation or new project this year. The plan is to finish what I started in 2008 and clean up those overdue tasks.

Tarot reading

So much for keeping a blog. Well, lots on my mind lately, so my dear friend H gave me a reading:

some good news or new opportunity coming - most likely job related
overly concerned with money
start of new project
have these overly neurotic concern with money, family finance cards (oops...too much housing bubble blog reading)
10 cup, upside down, disrupted joy
2 of pentacles, juggling finances
5 of wands, conflict/obstacles
too many irons in the fire - the need to set priorities, delayed travel plans, too much preoccupying your energy
analytical guy, with authority - someone who can usually view situation impartially and unemotionally - attached to some other news - change is in the air, most likely related to business, can be change of environment, new project, getting away from oppressive person or circumstance, can also represent travel - if it's travel related, then it's a good card for smooth travel - i think it has to do with new project or something - there is one thing that might block you from advancement
having neurotic thoughts about kids - this combination of 2 cards relates to preg/children - probably won't be preggo in the near future
a martyr card - for some reason you are being untrue to a part of yourself, such as sacrificing part of your life for no good reason, living up to someone else's expectations, or you may be wasting effort on a useless project
there seems to be this issue hanging on to old stuff, clinging to past
small financial gain coming up
i see the prior cards as mostly inner contemplation in figuring what you really want. before anything can advance, that has to be figured out first
there is a period of waiting, then you move forward with something new - it involves breaking free from limitations/fears and muddled thinking - i think you have some contemplation in store. before you can see outcome, you have to figure out what you want
the fog is lifting, you'll make a decision, it'll be a decision that shows positive outcome in following your intention
start of something new down the line - dunno what. can go either way, but it's a new beginning of something, can be related to new life or new opportunity. i don't want to sway you in any way
it still comes with some doubt or fluctuating mood/uncertainty
a warning follows - you may be listening to too many people's opinions instead of reaching your own conclusions. so for that decision you make, you need make sure it's what you want/don't want
i think you should hold off on real estate stuff, doesn't look very stable down the line, bite off more than you can chew
possible promotion/bonus
if someone ask you for a loan, consider carefully. okay to help but don't go overboard
you have a lot of money cards - i have rarely come across someone so preoccupied with money (oops) - i think the money issue is just unwarranted concern, cuz you don't have any poverty cards. you have a lot of $ but you are obsessed with it
the decision - it is a more legitimate dilemma than your money worries. you can't reverse things if you decide to go either way. just have to figure out what you want. whichever the decision is will have pros and cons which you have to accept. i don't think there is one that will be "perfect"

Well, that pretty much sums it up. I am amazed how closely it reads my mind...

2008, New Year Resolution Part II

After much (too much) delibration, I have finally decided this is what I want most to accomplish in 2008.

Clean out my clutter.
Every inch of the house.

This post couldn't come at a better time: Four Laws of Simplicity. I have been organizing around the house, albeit haphazardly because I am easily distracted. But I am now committed to do this for the entire house, following Zenhabits' suggestion.

1. Collect everything in one place.
2. Choose the essential.
3. Eliminate the rest.
4. Organize the remaining stuff neatly and nicely.

...focus on one area at a time, apply the method, and then move to the next area....if you wanted to simplify your entire life, I’d do one area every couple of days until you’re done.

I will document my progress via Flickr, Mission Organization. This resolution is consider successful if the house stays clutter free when Christmas rolls around.

Content and Discontent

Sunday morning
Storm is quiet
Mochi all curled up
Purring on my lap



Sunday morning
Clutter surrounds me
Disgruntle voice in my mind
Questioning the direction of my life

Dreams

Really liked this post.

2008, New Year Resolution Part I

I like to start off the year on a positive note and a stimulating goal. I am a bit late this year in my deliberation. Though I think I have finally decided. For 2008, my theme will be balance. It is one of those easy-to-preach-truly-difficult-in-practice philosophies, because it requires constant adjusting, never ending vigilance on my part. So, how does that translate to a resolution? I have no idea YET. :P Still thinking...

Still thinking

About what it means to have fun and to be fun person.

From dictionary.com,

fun /fʌn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fuhn] noun, verb, funned, fun·ning, adjective
–noun

1.	something that provides mirth or amusement: A picnic would be fun.

2.	enjoyment or playfulness: She's full of fun.

–verb (used without object), verb (used with object)

3.	Informal. joke; kid.

–adjective

4.	Informal. of or pertaining to fun, esp. to social fun: a fun thing to do; really a fun person.

5.	Informal. whimsical: flamboyant: The fashions this year are definitely on the fun side.

—Idioms

6.	for or in fun, as a joke; not seriously; playfully: His insults were only in fun.

7.	like fun, Informal. certainly not; of doubtful truth: He told us that he finished the exam in an hour. Like fun he did!

8.	make fun of, to make the object of ridicule; deride: The youngsters made fun of their teacher.

From wikiHow, How to Be a Fun Person to Be Around,

5. Laugh at yourself. And no, this doesn't mean laugh at a joke you made when no one else is laughing, it means take yourself less seriously and loosen up. If you laugh when you mess up, it lightens up the crowd.

From wikiHow, How to Be Energetic and Fun Loving,

People bursting with energy have three things in common: they deeply honor and respect themselves; they completely accept themselves for who they are and don't take themselves too seriously, and they see challenges as opportunities to be creative. They switch their negative thoughts as rapidly as they switch channels on their TVs with their remotes. Because they see life as a game to play and enjoy, they radiate good health. They are fun to be around, because they love and accept you for who you are.

From MSNBC Live Q and A,

Being able to insert some fun even into something serious is what as known as 'serious fun'. See you have 2 kinds of fun. Just 'fun', which is just letting lose and having fun without a care. Then there's 'serious fun', which is being able to see the light side of even a serious subject which can be helpful when people are taking you too seriously and you need to add some 'shock value'. That's the fun part! ;-)

*****
P.S. Any one notice my problem? I am not original. When I hit a problem or a question, I research then formulate an opinion. I can't seem to come up with something original or interesting on my own :( Anyhoo...I am still pondering...

Life's challenge - July

So, I signed up for this class at BPS with Heidi Swapp, A Year to Remember 2007.
I totally slacked off since February. Did zilch. Anyways, hopefully by blogging about it, I can get back into things and not slide any more.

The class is an interesting set up. It is for the whole year. Every week, we get a handout and a audio message. There is a theme for every month. The last week of every month, Ms. Heidi will give a life challenge. Then, first week of the new month, we have an Art challenge. We get the whole month to work on the challenges. Meanwhile, Ms. Heidi will give us bonus projects the last remainder weeks of the month.

So, the July challenge is, define what fun means to me and bring fun into everyday life.

Okay...what! Totally stumped me.

I don't think of myself as a "fun" person. Honestly. I am entirely too serious. Every thingevery action has to have a purpose because I have so much to do but so little time. Must be productive, do something, go somewhere. Never in the moment (I desperately want to change that). But...am I having fun? Am I enjoying life? What is fun? What is fun for me? When do I have fun?

Resonating with me today...

A post from Cheryl Nicolai's blog,

- Style is a voice, not a prop or an action. If you can buy it, borrow it, download it, or steal it, it is not a style. Don't look outward for your style; look inward.

- Know your stuff. Luck is a nice thing, but a terrifying thing to rely on. It's like money; you only have it when you don't need it.

- Never apologize for your own sense of beauty. Nobody can tell you what you should love. Do what you do brazenly and unapologetically. You cannot build your sense of aesthetics on a concensus.

- Say no. Say it often. It may be difficult, but you owe it to yourself and your clients. Turn down jobs that don't fit you, say no to overbooking yourself. You are no good to anyone when you're stressed and anxious.

- You cannot specialize in everything.

- You don't have to go into business just because people tell you you should! And you don't have to be full time and making an executive income to be successful. If you decide you want to be in business, set your limits before you begin.

- Know your style before you hang out your shingle. If you don't, your clients will dictate your style to you. That makes you nothing more than a picture taker. Changing your style later will force you to start all over again, and that's tough.

- Accept critique, but don't apply it blindly. Just because someone said it does not make it so. Critiques are opinions, nothing more. Consider the advice, consider the perspective of the advice giver, consider your style and what you want to convey in your work. Implement only what makes sense to implement. That doesn't not make you ungrateful, it makes you independent.

- Remember that if your work looks like everyone else's, there's no reason for a client to book you instead of someone else. Unless you're cheaper...

- It's easier to focus on buying that next piece of equipment than it is to accept that you should be able to create great work with what you've got. Buying stuff is a convenient and expensive distraction. You need a decent camera, a decent lens, and a light meter. Until you can use those tools consistently and masterfully, don't spend another dime. Spend money on equipment ONLY when you've outgrown your current equipment and you're being limited by it. There are no magic bullets.

- Never compare your journey with someone else's. It's a marathon with no finish line. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you, but every runner has his own pace. Your journey is your journey, not a competition. You will never "arrive". No one ever does.

- Embrace frustration. It pushes you to learn and grow, broadens your horizons, and lights a fire under you when your work has gone cold. Nothing is more dangerous to an artist than complacence.

Another week came and went

And not just any week. This marks the end of March, which also marks the end of the first quarter of 2007.

I am taking stock of the projects that I promised myself this year. Unfortunately, I haven't make much progress on most. Do I sound like a broken record? I certainly feel like I am. Sigh. Perhaps I have taken too much onto my plate again. Anyways, let's review.

1. Half Marathon training: March has been a miserable month for this goal of mine. I am ashamed to report only 5 days. Only three months left. Need to get cranking. For the overall goal to be more active, I did have two days of snowboarding at SLC.

2. A Year to Remember class: another horrible showing for the month of March. I did zero homework. I am probably just going to skip this one and start April fresh. For the overall goal of scrapbooking learning, I did take 7 classes from Scrap-a-faire. Learned lots of tricks on Photoshop and misc techniques.

3. Learn and be motivated at work: Well, I know I sinked a lot of time here this month. Lots of overtime. Attended Semitherm and learned lots. Doing more readings on engineering fundamentals. Even more in store for April.

I think I really need to find a balance. There has got to be a way to balance life and work. I don't want work to be my life.

Who is Dr. Mao?

Beats me. But he has some advice on keeping the brain alert:

Mental Gymnastics Keep Your Mind Nimble
It is normal to become more absent-minded as we age, and in fact, most people over the age of 40 experience some memory loss. The most likely causes of a forgetful memory include poor concentration due to brain-chemical imbalance, tiredness, depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders.

If you find you are more forgetful than usual, try these steps and see if there isn't some improvement in your cognitive clarity:

1. Get an uninterrupted eight hours of sleep each night.

2. Do a half an hour of cardiovascular exercise every day, such as brisk walking, slow jogging, biking, or swimming. This will improve circulation and increase blood flow to the brain.

3. Turn yourself upside down for a couple of minutes daily.

4. Mental fitness activities are imperative to prevent age-related cognitive decline. Read and learn new things, find new hobbies, do crossword puzzles, add up your bill in your head while shopping, memorize a set of phone numbers forward and backwards; all these can stimulate brain cell activities and in some cases even grow new brain pathways.

5. Work with your physician to find a supplemental regimen that helps improve your cognitive capabilities. Memory-enhancing supplements and herbs include B-complex vitamins, magnesium, CoQ10, alpha-lipoic acid, fish oil, flax seed oil, Chinese club moss, ginkgo, and ginseng. A supplement that has been well-documented in Europe for reversing age-related dementia and memory loss is phosphatidylserine (PS), a compound made by the body from the amino acid serine. Taken in supplement form, PS lowers stress response and promotes the release of neurotransmitters in the brain that facilitate thought, reasoning, and concentration.

Interesting read

The Effort effect

Making it Meaningful

Boy, I am prolific today. Wanted to record this bit of a quote from my favorite website twopeas,

"...Why do we scrapbook? For some of us, it is a creative outlet, we enjoy the act of creating. For some, it is the photos, documenting the lives and times of our families. For some people, its an occupation. Why do you scrapbook? It could be some or all of the above. Or for an entirely different reason..."

Why do I scrapbook? For my posterity. It will be a testimony that this life isn't blank. It shall be a reminder that this life was lived to its fullest...because gosh darn it, those empty scrapbook pages gotta be filled :P

Goals? Good Intentions?

Afte a whole week of pondering, I am ready to put in writing my goal for 2007.

drum roll....

I will train and run for the San Francisco Marathon, July 29th. Half marathon mind you.

Zdog believes I have lost my mind.

The idea came from D. She is doing the half marathon and has started training for it already. Truthfully, I hate running. In fact, I am extremely un-sporty. But, the idea of running a marathon resonates with me. At least once in my life. This year is as good as any. I'll have a support buddy. It'll improve my exercise routine...which is nil at the moment. But, beyond all else, I am looking for energy in my life. 2006 was very very blah. I felt robotic, mindless, doing the same things day in day out. Even my beloved scrapbooking was looking lackluster. So, doing the marathon will shake things up. It requires time, commitment, and focus. It is something completely out of my comfort zone.

Of course, I always feel like I can conquer the world at the beginning of a brand new year. Then six months down the road I feel the fatigue, and am positively drained by the end of the year. Not sure how this year will play out. I just know I gotta do something different.

Here is to 2007!

2006.12.31

Time for a new goal for 2007.

Note, I don't call it my New Year Resolutions. I used to set NYRs, which tend to be lofty and out the window within three months. So, no more.

Now, setting a proper goal is tricky business. I always set one and only one goal. Reason? I get overwhelmed easily. In order to start off the year on the right path, I set a goal that is realistic, has a definite time line, and will last long after the goal has been achieved.

Here are a few not-a-goal examples:

"I will be an organized person this year" is not a goal. That's my wishful thinking (:P

"I will lose 5 pounds in the next three months" is not a goal because the weight can easily be gained back (:\

"I will exercise regularly" is not a goal. That is a discipline issue and most likely can not be maintained by me (:D

Items on my list of things to do are not goals. They are what they are, things to do. (:|

The most important ingredient to a proper goal is self enrichment. This is, in my opinion, the purpose of a new year resolution. If I must grow old as the years pass by, I might as well get something out of it other than wrinkles and sagging boobs. Here is another example. "Start and finish kitchen remodelling this year" can be more interesting this way, "Start and finish kitchen remodelling this year (six month time frame). Learn about good kitchen design rules, create realistic budget, and gain project management skills." Got it?

So, what is my goal for 2007?

Well.....
.
.
.
I can't tell you until 2007 :P
Until then, happy goal setting!

Wow...2006 about to leave

Half of 2006 came and left. I am dusting this little blog off. Hoping 2007 it'll see more activities.

Looking back...
Jan 08 BetterPhoto: Took Digital Photography beginner 8wk course online.
June 22 CKU San Jose Album: Took Cathy Zielski's Encyclopedia of My Ordinary Life tract. Spent 3 days at the DoubleTree hotel with 500+ women crazy about scrapbooking.
Oct 19: I turned 33.
Nov 12 SF Book Center: Played with Letterpresses, came home with very sore arms and lots of beautifully printed designs.
Dec 19: The company I worked for got acquired. I have mixed feelings about it. 2007 shall be very interesting.

Fun times...
July 08 Queen for a day: L and I took H out for a day of girly fun at SF Ritz Carlton.
July 15 zDog's friend AK got married
Aug 19 my friend TL got married
Aug 27 zDog's friend TC got married
Sept 09 zDog's sister got married
Sept 30 zDog took me to Fringales, we celebrated our 1st year anniversary :O
Nov 27 - Dec 08 zDog and I went to Japan/Tokyo and Taiwan/Taipei, for a little vacation. Awesome time. One of these days I'll post some photos

Reflection...
Somehow I feel like I accomplished nothing. H asked what I would've done to feel more accomplished. I don't have an answer...